i jus changed my bbm name to darkness ....dunno why......thats what my mentality is turning into atm....i think its a phase of depression i'm going thru..... ( this never happens when i'm in my nnayaian form *rme* ), dont even know wat to think of anything again...pffft, whats d point, as long as its on earth its goin to end up being obsolete (that means become useless...for those of u who dont know)
i think putting this on my blog is just a medium for me to scream...cuz i sure as hell will not do that in real life......where do i even want to scream sef, so they'll now look at me like a madman.....oblivious to d heavy dark depressing thoughts that are squashing my spirit.....i hate the fact that i have low self esteem, its a bother.....i thought i was breaking out of it...buh this is the longest i've felt depressed since secondary school, io dont even know whats wrong with me.....i'm jus tired basically...
lol dont worry about me, i'm not contemplating suicide, i'm too much of a coward for that *kanye shrug* sue me...i aint afraid to admit that fact bout me, i'm cowardly...and i hate it....i try to stop it, buh its too much effort....i dont have that natural charismatic courage some pple have, i jus like being that ghost that watches erything, sees stuff and all, i actually hate attention unless i really want it ( for example now) i actually want a hug, a real hug, not all them bbm or twitter bullshit asterixxed hugs u guys pass around forming crappy online love......its bull(i'd do it, i attach no meaning to it tho 3-| ) unless i realy love u tho.... dont worry, my LSE doesnt affect my ability to actually care about pple......sigh*, i'm jus ranting....at least i feel lighter now....buh then again.....i jus want to hibernate from the world for a while and do some soul searching *cliche talk*
this isnt all thats on my mind tho...i'm restraining myself....if not some pple will start a prayer chain and kidnap me for deliverance..oh well....later earthlings...
sorry for the rantings...dont use this to judge me...i jus tend to feel lost sometimes
i'll get over it...maybe... oh yeah, my birthday is this saturday.... u guys can wish me happy birthday on my twitter..that'll lift my spirit up a bit :) @nnaya_A